Happy adventurering parties are all alike; every unhappy adventure party is unhappy in its own way.
This particular day we were all unhappy in a "what the hell are we doing in this maze way!? Don’t horrible things usually live in the middle of mazes?
Njord really wasn’t himself that day. Not sure if it was the stress of the maze or the potential STD that had him acting all strange like.
(Editors note: No idea what is going to happen if she turns up pregnant. Being a water based sorcerer… nah… no jokes about what will happen when the water breaks).
We wandered the maze heroically. The sunlight took every opportunity to reflect off of Pints brilliantly polished armor.
(editors note: he says that the blood of battle looks better against clean armor. I just wish he would clean the INSIDE of the armor too! Arghh! The smell! Ya know what he smells like?! He smells like a really old Linberger cheese.)
Getting totally lost within the maze, the party unanimously said “forgeteth this.. .leteth us trasheth this place” and the dwarf boys began hacking at the maze walls.
(editors note: The way that Pint and Tank were acting, I’m starting to wonder if they are more than just cousins wink wink nudge nudge say no more)
We moved aimlessly, encountering a young boy ghost – and then Njord discovered a smallish saytr hanging out at a maze crossroads. Obviously not feeling himself, Njord offered the Satry 50 gold pieces to act as our guide around the maze.
(editor’s note: never take financial advice from Njord)
And then the strangest thing happened… we found a little girl ghost too. And a spiral circle. Using my advanced Bardic knowledges I determined that we should walk the spiral. Doing so, suddenly BOOM I am in another dimension with the young girl. Myra follows and together we determine that the little boy ghost we saw is her brother. The part that was not very nice about the spiral is that after about 5 minutes we would (I’m totally going to make up some words here) “phase shift” back to the rest of our party and then we would have to walk the spiral again. It was apparent that the two children were sent into the labyrinth for their own protection.
(editors note: It was all too much for me to comprehend. I could tell that I was starting to lose it mentally at one point because I thought I saw a very tall very thin quite good looking man singing about “a babe with the power of voodoo”. Needless to say, I told no one about this.)
After repeating the spiral in the opposite direction we “phase shifted” back to our friends. It was here that we faced our greatest battle of this journey. Insanity had taken us all as Tank and Pint and Fjord attack a pen of rabbits. It was not pretty at all. These were no mere vorpal bunnies. Tank got bit by one and took some serious damage. Myra grabbed Tank in a full nelson for his own good. At which point Tank began whining like a little girl “you are not my mother! You are not my mother!” We escaped but Tank only just barely. All bunnies were appropriately dispatched. I will soon be writing a sonnet entitled “Legend of the Bunny Slaughter” to explain the horrific details. I have no doubt that when Tanks blood debt is paid off and he steps toward Dwarf Heaven there will be a whole bunch of pissed off rabbits waiting for him.
The girl was confused and had evidently been in the maze for years of our time, though only moments of hers. Evidently her mom had been working with some druids to create the sickness that we have seen plague this land. Vinegar is the cure. And it’s name is Ghoul Rot.
And having gained all of that knowledge Pint offered to off the children so we wouldn’t have to deal with them.
(Editor’s note: hardly the actions of a noble leader. But we shall let this backslide go… once. Next time he offers to kill children I put an arrow in his knee.)
Onward towards the logging camps we go, which were our original destination. Tank, Pint and Njord attack and kill a moose. Normally this would be quite the accomplishment as a moose hunt is a dangerous undertaking. This one just kind of stood there with a glazed look in it’s eyes.
Proud of their accomplishment they field dressed the moose and we were soon at the logging camp where we were informed that the moose are all diseased.
Njord headed off to try and sell his body (to remake the 50gp that he gave the Satyr/Faun).
Our cleric healed some sick people, and through conversation we learned of a strange tree. One that grows in the woods yet is immaculately manicured. And occasionally is known to speak.
(editors note: talking trees…. right! These people have been in the wilderness far too long.)
So we headed off to find said tree. Wow was is beautiful! It was so beautiful that no one suggested chopping it down! And turns out that the tree had a guardian spirit, a dryad, taking care of it. She was very lovely! Njord wanted to kill it. She told us about a cabin. So we headed off to visit said cabin.